While serving with the US Army Reserve, I was sent off on our annual two week training to Fort McCoy. One morning, I headed off to the chow hall to get some breakfast. They served the standard stuff: barely edible eggs, waffles that doubled as frisbees, syrup that was absolutely sure to give you explosive diarrhea, fruit that had gone bad 3 days earlier, and several containers of gatorade that were empty.
When I got up to the soldier that was serving in the chow line (who also outranked me), I was greeted by the most peculiar sight – the eggs were green!
Me: Hey, you know that Dr. Seuss book about Green Eggs and Ham was not a recipe book, right?
Soldier: Fuck off and just eat it
I’m pleased to report that it only took a half bottle of Texas Pete’s hot sauce to make it semi-tolerable