Life is like a box of…

My wife had just gotten home from work and we were talking about our upcoming move to the neighboring state. Somewhere along the conversation she was talking about a dream she had the night before where I unfortunately had passed away (probably doing something heroic like saving blind puppies from grizzly bears)

Wife: …and it was one of those dreams where it felt so real! I don’t know what I would do if I lost you…

I kind of just shrugged to her

Me: Weeeelllll…. Life is like a box of dildos – you’re gonna get FUCKED

Wife:

Me: